Fighting for peace, is like f***ing for chastity.Stephen King
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Likes and opinions are like butts, everyone’s got one and they all stink, but that doesn’t mean everyone wants to see it by any stretch of the imagination,Anawim, #justtothepoint.
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.Emo Philips.
NOTE: I care a lot about Jews! I love them and we all deserve to live in peace and prosperity. I am just trying to have some fun in this crazy world.
I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial,Irvin S. Cobb.
He had delusions of adequacy,Walter Kerr.
- What does a mobile phone say to another phone? -Who knows what the future will brr-ing!
- Why are owls wise? ― I don’t know, I’m not an owl.
- The first restaurant on the moon didn’t do very well. -It had great food but no atmosphere.
- Doctor, Doctor I’ve got wind! Can you give me something? — Yes, here’s a kite!
- Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I’m a caterpillar. — Don’t worry, you’ll soon change!
- What does a pen say to a pencil? — So, what’s your point!
- What does a tree do when it is ready to go home? — It leaves.
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
- The Computer beat me at chess once, but it was no match for Boxing.
- What does a wall say to another wall? Meet me at the corner!
- Knock Knock! -Who’s there? – Who. – Who who? – Are you an owl?
- What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss? -Ouch
- How do you drown a blonde? — You just stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
- My room is not messy, it is an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.